hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize