You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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