Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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