big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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