her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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