The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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