It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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