Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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