need another drink. this is the easiest way
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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