Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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