and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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