can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize