upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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