You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sarcasm needs its own font
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize