pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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