I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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