Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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