At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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