but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
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Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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