I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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