my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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