I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize