perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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