so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
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I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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