none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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