For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
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Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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