absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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