Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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