me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize