epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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