just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize