Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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