did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize