i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
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I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
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This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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