I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize