Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
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I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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