just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
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I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
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I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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