Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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