I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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