i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
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I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
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it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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