who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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