you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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