i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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