You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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