I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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