I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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