are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize