Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
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the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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