What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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