it was like his penis was on wheels.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize